The Long Road to Leadership
What does it really mean to be a good leader?
In this, my first blog post, I reflect on my leadership journey and explore how my understanding of leadership evolved through mentoring and reflection.
When I started at my first career position after graduating, my goal was to climb the corporate ladder as quickly as possible. I managed this through a mix of hard work on my side, and luck in a couple of more senior team members leaving the company with excellent timing.
The Leadership Wake-Up Call
I finally made team leader, with 5 people reporting to me, and went out to celebrate. Imagine my shock when I realised that I wasn’t actually ready to be a leader yet. I wasn’t the first person to be promoted based on technical proficiency - being good at what I did - and I was certainly not the last either. That experience stayed with me. I realised that being a leader was far more than a title, it was about people, trust, and responsibility. I knew I had a lot to learn, but I didn’t know where to start.
The following year I relocated abroad, and joined another firm where I had to work my way up again. This time I was very lucky to be with a company that recognised that a person who is technically strong does not necessarily make a great manager or leader. They invested in training, assessments and coaching plans that helped me immensely, but one factor helped above the rest.
Learning Through Mentorship
My manager took the time to mentor me, to challenge me when I was stuck. He would listen to me vent, ask probing questions and then - infuriatingly he’d say nothing other than “OK, go ahead.” When I wanted answers, he gave me space. At the time, I hated it.
I’d go out to smoke a cigarette (a habit I later kicked) and to insult him in my head. While walking around the building, I’d think about his questions and started to see my answers as feeble attempts to avoid blame, to avoid taking on more work for the team, to avoid having difficult conversations and much more.
He empowered me to make decisions myself, and he always, invariably, supported me, no matter how badly my attempts went. I trusted that he had my back, and so I could take bigger and bigger leaps.
How Growth Mindset Shapes Good Leaders
Some people think that experience, or the passage of time doing a task or skill makes people better at it. They probably become more efficient at it, so they can do things more quickly, but not necessarily better. I believe that to really grow you have to be open to question yourself, to remain curious and experiment with new ideas, to challenge yourself, to consider different perspectives. Above all, you need to have a growth mindset through which you want to learn more, you’re self-motivated to challenge what you think you know, you long to improve your skills or learn new ones.
Reflection Builds Better Leaders
I also find it extremely important to reflect on moments of your role as a leader. Whether a situation works out well or turns into an epic disaster, it’s so valuable to pause and reflect on it. What made it a success or a fail? What led to that happening? Did anyone make a particular decision or take a specific action that changed the course of events? Or was such a potential moment missed?
Becoming the Leader I Wanted to Follow
Over time, this approach and the great fortune to work with business owners and executives who trusted me, has allowed me to develop as a leader who values above all else: integrity, authenticity and supporting the development of others.
As part of my reflective exercise, I actually recently asked a former team member for feedback, and she was kind enough to write this:
“He allowed us, his subordinates, to explore our critical thinking and have our own judgement which allowed us to be more independent. He did not micromanage us and hence we took our own decisions which he supported, and he always encouraged people to grow and to get out of our comfort zones.”
The Student Becomes the Mentor
Reading it gave me a kaleidoscope of emotions. Firstly, joy that I impacted a person’s life and career positively - what more could a leader ask for? I also felt a jolt of recognition. She described me in the exact same way I used to describe the mentor who first challenged me. It was a deep realisation: I wasn’t just riding the pth he had shown me anymore; I was now the one pointing out the road ahead for someone else.
In turn, this made me realise that, just as when I first became a leader and thought I had done it all, I was actually just at a waypoint (hence the name of this blog).
A waypoint isn’t the finish line. It is a place we use to keep us on track, check our bearings, and read the road ahead before we speed off again. It occurred to me that I still have so much more to learn. Reflecting on my career, I saw that I had most success when I had the figure of a mentor to support me, challenge me and guide me along my path.
The Journey Continues
Reading her feedback again, along with others that I received, it struck me that I want to do the same for others, help them discover their own leadership journey.
All this prompted me to start three things. One is this blog, through which I will share some reflections on my experiences and thoughts about leadership. Next is a book I am writing in which I compare the skills used for one of my passions - riding a motorbike - to my mission, leadership. Best of all, I am in the middle of a mentoring course to be able to apply formal techniques and best practice to support others in a more structured manner.
On that note, here are three thoughts for you to develop as a leader.
Three Signposts on the Road to Leadership
Keep questioning yourself. Growth starts when you challenge yourself and your own assumptions.
Seek mentors, and be one. Every leader needs someone who listens, challenges, and supports, and others need the same from you.
Reflect often. Pause after both success and failure to ask, “What did this teach me?” Reflection turns experience into wisdom.
It’s a long road to leadership, and the closer you get to mastering it, the more you realise how much there is yet to learn. Wherever you are on that road, keep walking, keep learning, and keep helping others to find their way.
A question for you: if you treat your position now as a waypoint on your own leadership journey, what is the one thing you need to learn - or stop doing - to make it to the next waypoint?
Thank you for reading this far. If any of this resonates, I’d love to welcome you as a reader and to stay connected. Please join the mailing list for future posts, share your thoughts in the comments, or find me on LinkedIn.
